This Bitch Reviews 2003 "Sasquatch" (part 4 of 5)

Originally I was going to review "Little Witches". But that proved to be more of a challenge then I thought.

All thought you did get to see titty in the first minute. And super hot Jennifer Rubin as a nun

  

The always gorgeous Clea Duvall

Just could not make this movie watchable! Had to stop about twenty minutes in. I would avoid this Catholic slut fest at all costs!

Now on to the real review. "Sasquatch" thank you for not disappointing me at all! You brought us right back to the shitty horror movie train. At first I thought it was going to be a found footage film. I fucking hate those!!! Thankfully it was not, however the focus was about as bad as a found footage movie. Then I find that the one and only 

"Bishop" Lance Henriksen

 is the lead in this movie.

 Now I'm on board! An Artificial Person vs Sasquatch that's something I need to see.

However, even that could not save this movie. For some reason Sasquatch possesses a multitude of super powers. Including but not limited to - Heat Vision, X-ray Vision, Super Speed, Bullet Time, and the ability to Teleport. That's right if Sas knows you're going to pull that trigger he can dodge that shit! Okay fine! Whatever you say movie. 

But that's not the worst part! Its all of the cliches. Main character brings the washed up old adventurer that thinks he's still hot shit. But we have a younger guy that's the real badass. Guess what?! Yeah the group finds out the old guys isn't shit and run to the younger guy. Of course you do! Then you have the "Mythical creatures aren't real" people and the I'm a cryptozoologist guy! Got to have that person to tell stories by the campfire. And of course he thinks bigfoot is real, no question! Plus they had the "Attack in the middle of the night turns out to be a bear" bullshit! Hopefully Bishop had nothing to do with the story. Then you finally see Sas and he looks like a damn basketball player wearing furs! Plus he's bald! 

What a waste of time.

I give 2003 "Sasquatch" a 1 Sas out of 5

Pair this with whatever gets you drunk! Maybe then you'll enjoy it!